I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Let me start by saying that even when things don't go as planned, we have so much to be thankful for.    I have a GOD that loves me enough to send his son to die for my sins so that I may have everlasting life.  I woke up this morning in my warm cozy house after sleeping in a comfy bed.  I had food that I could make for breakfast and I have a son that makes me so proud.   I have friends and family that love and support me no matter what.  That in itself is enough.

Jeremy and I were going to meet some friends from church to help deliver food to some less fortunate families.  Once we made it to the facility, we were the only ones there.   After doing some investigating, we found out that they weren't delivering today due to a family emergency.   So, we went on to plan B.  So, we headed off to breakfast with Greg and Fisher Williams at Cracker Barrel. I am thankful for the ability to enjoy a breakfast with good friends.   We all mentioned several times how we felt bad for the families that needed the meals.  I am thankful that I have people in my life that care for others.


Once we returned home, Jeremy and I decided to put up our Christmas tree.  Last year, we didn't put up our big tree because we have a family tree.  Every year, we would all get an ornament to remind us of something from the year.   So, we knew that it would be hard to put up the tree and have to go through all of the ornaments that belongs to Mark.   Well, we were not wrong.   We boths she a few tears, but the majority of Mark's ornaments were packed away so that we don't have to go through them every year, but we will have them.   So, our Christmas tree is up and beautiful.  We then proceeded to straighten up our storage room at the house, and pulled a few things to donate to the Cub Scouts and the clothes closet.   So, I'm also thankful for a day off work to be able to get something's cleaned out.



Jeremy and I cooked a ham, macaroni and cheese, cranberry relish, and snicker salad for dinner.   So, I'm thankful for the food that we have been blessed enough to be able to buy.   Now, we are sitting here watching Whose Line is It Anyway and enjoying a good laugh.   So, all in all, our Thankgiving has included friends, family, food, laughter and tears -AND through it all we have been blessed.

16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:16-17


give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Day After...

Ok.  I planned to write a blog yesterday, but between work, picking up Cub Scout Popcorn, and a Cub Committee Meeting - I ran out of time.   So, I will write this blog about THE DAY AFTER.   Yesterday marked 2 years since my husband, Mark, passed away.   No one should have to bury their husband at 40 years old, but I'm not sure that I would have been ready to do it at 90 years old either.   Mark was more than just my husband.  He was my best friend, secret keeper, encourager, lover, shoulder to cry on, supporter, and so much more.   We were equally happy hanging out at the house watching TV or traveling.   He left a huge hole in my life, and I miss him daily.  However, I wouldn't wish him back for all the money on the earth.   

Jeremy and I made it through yesterday with grace and dignity.  We both talked about how well we had done, and how the day wasn't as hard as we expected it to be.  We did talk a little bit about Mark and laughed at some stories, but we both know that he is in a much better place.   It is just our selfish "human" nature that misses him.   

I can remember the day after Mark died just like it was yesterday.   I woke up around 7 because I had too much on my mind for my body to let me sleep late.   I got up, got dressed and opened my blinds on the front of my house.  I sat and watched out the window as the world went by.   The sun was shining and across the street, I saw my dad come out and raise the flag in front of his house, like he did every day at that time.   Only this time, he didn't raise it all the way, he left it at half mass...and I cried!   I watched the flag blow in the breeze in tribute to Mark.  My dad told me that he knew it wasn't protocol to lower the flag to half mass for just anyone, but that Mark had deserved the tribute.  He was all about serving and helping people.   

After a couple of hours trying to pull myself together, my best friend, Jenny - came over to sit at the house while my sister-in-law, Sally, and I went to the funeral home to make the arrangements.   I remember thinking how well the two of us handled making the arrangements - and even laughed a few times.   Mark had already planned out his memorial and wishes.   So, that wasn't left for me to have to decide (Thank Goodness!).  I remember how exhausted I was that day and how my friends and parents were there to support Jeremy and I.  The day after brought tears, smiles, laughs, rest, several food deliveries, a couple of deliveries of flowers (a small arrangement from Jeremy's homeroom teacher, and a beautiful dozen red roses from my boss and his wife), visits from several friends, and a lot of peace.  I was at peace with Mark's passing.   I was prepared for him to go, but not in any hurry for it to happen.  

Over the last 2 years, many things have changed.   Jeremy and I  have made some changes to the house.   Jeremy planted some trees in the yard in memory of Mark (and just because we wanted them).  We planted a Camellia bush that a friend gave us, because when I called to tell her that Mark has passed away, her's was in full bloom.  I have set the patio up just the way I wanted it.   We went back to having friends over again.  We have worked to find our new normal.   But, what does that mean? Our new normal!   Hmmm.   My new normal is to not waste time.  Both Jeremy and I have a desire to help others when we can.  So, our new normal includes helping with a clothes closet, volunteering with the Cub Scouts, being active in church, being sure that we don't take our faithful family and friends for granted.  I have stepped out of my comfort zone (actually been called out by GOD) and talked to a couple of widows because you can't really understand what they are going through until you walk that path.  

I try to read uplifting blogs and participate in bible studies that encourage and strengthen me and my walk.  I get a blog from The Christian Working Woman daily.   Her blog today was about -"My question has been: When your cup runs over, what spills out? During the times when we are jostled on life's roller-coaster seas, what's inside of us will come spilling out. If it's faith and trust and joy in the Lord, that will come out. If it's bitterness or worry or self-centeredness, that will come spilling out."    

I know that I am not always in a positive uplifting kind of mood.  Some days I'm down right grumpy, and somedays I feel a little sorry for myself.  But I hope that others can see God through me.   I hope that people that are watching me can be inspired (not by me - because it isn't me, but God carrying me).  I hope that they can see that you can survive losing loved ones in your life.   When Mark was sick, I had no trouble being positive because I had to believe that he would beat cancer. When it was evident that he wouldn't beat it, I had to be positive for Mark and Jeremy.  Once he passed away, I felt that I had to be positive for Jeremy, my parents, my friends, and myself.  Now I am TRULY positive because I know that GOD can handle this and he won't leave me in my time of need.  I know that God loves me, and his heart breaks when my heart breaks, but I also know that he has a plan.  So, I just have to patient while his plan falls into place.  I can't wait to see what my future holds...I hope it's something AWESOME!

Jeremy 29:11-13
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.